Memory

 When Megan was about ten years old, our ward, to test our emergency preparedness, challenged us all to not go to the store for a week. When Megan heard about it, she flew in the kitchen door, panicked asking questions like, "Will we be able to eat? Are we going to run out of food?" I was able to calm her down by telling her that she would be fine and she needed to trust me. She did trust me because the panic left her and she happily went back outside to play. I thought it was interesting that she took on the responsibility of food for the family at all. Wasn't I always the one to give her food without her having to give any thought to where it came from? I also thought it was interesting how quickly the panic left her when I reminded her that she could trust me. At the time, it reinforced for me my duty to my children to be ready in times of emergency and how grateful I was to the church for teaching me to be someone who would be able to fulfill that trust my children place in me. Now, I look back on it and learn another lesson. How often do I panic because of what might happen? How often am I the child banging into the kitchen wanting to know if my Father has thought this all through? How quickly my panic can leave me when I am reminded that I can trust Him. He has a plan. I really can go back out and play.

 In Relief Society today we talked about eternal families. The young mom giving the lesson started by asking, "What do we need to do to have eternal families?" and then put up answers like prayer and scripture study, temple ordinances, church attendance, good works, etc. She had people give examples of things they do to bring the spirit into their home. About half way through, a woman raised her hand and said it was hard as an older person to talk about eternal families when parts of their family no longer followed church teachings. Many voices joined hers.

Some ideas discussed today included that it is our individual relationships with God as His child that are most important. Everyone is part of our eternal family. We are to have our own family relationships here because of all they teach us. Also, the reminder that individuals can repent and have ordinances done after this life. Unconditional love in this life was emphasized.

I think perhaps we misunderstand this doctrine. When truth resonates with me, it brings joy. "God is that man might have joy." If it brings pain, could it be that we have misunderstood something? Perhaps eternal families refers to our ability and promise to love these people eternally. Maybe it really is all about love--increasing our capacity and ability to do so. I like this because it comes back to what we can control--ourselves only. I think the pain in the doctrine of eternal families is the fear that the opposite is eternal separation. Perhaps this is the misunderstanding. Maybe it is more like your children's decision whether or not to participate in the family business. You won't see them as much and it will be harder for them to learn from experience but they are free to make their own choice and you'll love them and spend time with them when you can. If it were different from this, then choosing God would be a punishment keeping us from the people we love! Also, this aligns with God's greatest gift to us--free agency, our responsibility to make the choice ourself.

Nauvoo Carthage

 I learned that the night before the martyrdom, Joseph, Hyrum, and the six friends who had come with them to keep them company, sat in the debtors cell and spoke of the things of God. One man there said that Joseph and Hyrum were filled with joy that their race was almost complete and that they would soon commune with God. That was the first time I had heard that. All other accounts focus on Joseph’s fear of death at the hands of the mob and his gut-wrenching sadness at saying goodbye to his family for the last time in this mortal life. I think it’s entirely possible that all those accounts are true. Could you not feel all those things? It lifted my spirits to know that Joseph and Hyrum felt joy, too, in the midst of all those other emotions. It feels right that they should.

Nauvoo

 In one of the plays, maybe the one about hymns of Zion, Eliza R. Snow was told that she would influence the church through her poetry because the principles of her mind would shine through. I can’t find it now. But, I have thought that I have an advantage in writing books because I am so familiar with so many true principles. When I heard this plainly said of Eliza, the spirit testified to me that it is a true principle and I can indeed do great things with my writing because my mind has dwelt so much on what is true and good.

Nauvoo

Those who first accepted the gospel had to leave their homes to gather with the saints, then the gathering places of the saints changed as mobs and violence drove them from their homes and made is so they had to start over in a new place again and again. There was a lot of great reasons to be mad, to think life was unfair, to mourn over loved ones dead, and to decide life was just one dark and miserable day after another. But, as we go to Nauvoo, we find that was not the case at all. The 12,000 saints who had gathered in Nauvoo were happy. They danced. They sang. Their journals are full of their joy in having found the gospel of Jesus Christ and their chance to be part of His work and share their faith and joy with others who felt the same way. Only the Spirit could have competed in this wrestling match for the emotions of such a persecuted people and come out victorious on the side of joy and rejoicing. It is a testimony to me that they were really feeling something amazing.

Virtual Couch

327. Creating Intimacy vs. Seeking Approval

My main takeaways from this podcast were that your best path to happiness is to stop worrying about your ego. When you worry about how others perceive you then you try to hide what is negative about you or maybe try to find people who won't ever bring it up, etc. This stops you from being truly known by another person but also stops you from growing. In a very real way it leaves you much more vulnerable to what is dark inside you because if you face it, you must admit that you are not perfect or not the way you see yourself or not the way you want others to see you. So you don't face it and it can grow. If it is unchallenged, it can then do harm in the world--because you are unwilling to face the darkness in you.

Jennifer Finlayson Fife talks a great deal about this in the end from a religious perspective and I loved it. She talked about how Jesus spent a big part of his ministry condemning hypocrites--those unwilling to look at the darkness inside themselves. Jesus's message to all of us is to stay aware of our weaknesses and our natural inclination to evil because it is only then that we can control them, be safe from them, instead of them controlling us and doing damage to others.

I feel like this is a difference from evangelical Christians and their insistence that the only thing to be preached is that Christ saves you. They take issue with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints because we also teach a moral code. And yet, Christ spent a big part of his ministry warning that we need to be aware of the darkness in us. Not just to acknowledge our absolute lost and fallen state without Christ's atonement but also to help us lead lives that are safer from the ravages of evil.

I also feel like this is a difference in the way people feel who leave the church. Some say that they feel like the church was always telling them they were bad. This is only half of the message. We all have weaknesses, unhealthy habits, and things we do that hurt others. The true message of the gospel is yes, a plea to watch for those things in yourself, but then the assurance that God loves you even with those realities and He can help you overcome then.

I think many people want to deal with the fact that there are undesirable things inside of them by denying that any undesirable thing even exists. They believe that if they eliminate their moral code they will feel better about themselves. Perhaps they will, but what have they given up in exchange? And is part of what they've given up their effort to create a society where we interact well with each other and create our best lives?

Don't Miss This

 Exodus 18-22

In these chapters, Jethro, Moses's father-in-law, comes and gives Moses advice on how to do what he's doing better, because if he doesn't, he may "wear away."

    1.    Moses is willing to accept the advice. He is humble and therefore is able to benefit from it.

    2.    Jethro gives advice but also encourages Moses to ask God if it is good advice. I need to do this more with the kids. Turn them to God even when I really like my advice and believe in it. It's good to get them counseling with God. Especially since I could be wrong and I need to be open to that.

These chapters also cover the Ten Commandments, which can also be seen as God giving us advice on living because if we keep living how we are, we may "wear away." He wants to help us live the best life we can and have the most happiness in it.

There are people who feel that a God who loves them wouldn't place any expectations on them in the way they should live. While it is true that God loves us no matter what--His love is "unfailing"--it is also true that all relationships are improved when we live up to certain expectations. Emily encouraged us to think of a marriage relationship. We love our spouse, but we expect certain things of them in order for the relationship to work. When we live inside these expectations, we enjoy privileges and benefits that wouldn't otherwise be ours.

Remember that the order is important. First God saves us, then we love Him, then we obey because we love Him. This helps change us to become like Him. We suffer unnecessarily when we think of it backwards--when we strive to obey so that God will save us. He already has.