In Relief Society today we talked about eternal families. The young mom giving the lesson started by asking, "What do we need to do to have eternal families?" and then put up answers like prayer and scripture study, temple ordinances, church attendance, good works, etc. She had people give examples of things they do to bring the spirit into their home. About half way through, a woman raised her hand and said it was hard as an older person to talk about eternal families when parts of their family no longer followed church teachings. Many voices joined hers.

Some ideas discussed today included that it is our individual relationships with God as His child that are most important. Everyone is part of our eternal family. We are to have our own family relationships here because of all they teach us. Also, the reminder that individuals can repent and have ordinances done after this life. Unconditional love in this life was emphasized.

I think perhaps we misunderstand this doctrine. When truth resonates with me, it brings joy. "God is that man might have joy." If it brings pain, could it be that we have misunderstood something? Perhaps eternal families refers to our ability and promise to love these people eternally. Maybe it really is all about love--increasing our capacity and ability to do so. I like this because it comes back to what we can control--ourselves only. I think the pain in the doctrine of eternal families is the fear that the opposite is eternal separation. Perhaps this is the misunderstanding. Maybe it is more like your children's decision whether or not to participate in the family business. You won't see them as much and it will be harder for them to learn from experience but they are free to make their own choice and you'll love them and spend time with them when you can. If it were different from this, then choosing God would be a punishment keeping us from the people we love! Also, this aligns with God's greatest gift to us--free agency, our responsibility to make the choice ourself.